so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize