so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
