Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
