So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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