he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
