WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
