I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
