remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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