I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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