Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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