so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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