what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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