i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
