I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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