Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
