you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
