is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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