She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
God gave him joint rollers for hands
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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