your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
