I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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