Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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