I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
