He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
