what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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