Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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