This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just blew my weed a kiss
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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