whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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