Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
