I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
