I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
