We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
