Got a toothbrush?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
