Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
