one word: firstdatebathroomanal
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
