i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
