Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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