Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
