Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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