I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
