Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
