Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
