carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
