Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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