How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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