One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
