are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
