Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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