Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
