Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
