So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize