I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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