You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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