I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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