apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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