just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
