ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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