I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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