you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
