he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
