I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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